To start any new habit only takes 21 days, that also goes for breaking any bad ones we may have. If you are still mooning over your ex and obsessing over every little thing that went wrong – STOP right now!!! We have to get up and start living again although it is quite typical to feel crushed for a long time after losing someone we care about. It’s time to start some new habits, so get out of those ugly old sweatpants and put away the junk food, we are going to mend your broken heart by trying something new!

The very first thing we have to do is put an end to all the terrible habits we are doing now. Are you constantly checking Facebook or Twitter to see what is going on in your ex’s life? Are you casually bringing them up in conversations with friends you still share? We want to know if our ex feels the same hurt we do, just as we want them to miss us as much as we miss them. Well, if you want to heal you have to make a conscious effort to break these habits. Whenever you are feeling that pull to check online or to bring up your ex, pinch yourself. Not lightly but hard! By becoming aware of these bad habits you can start to stop yourself from doing them.

Now that our arms are all red from pinching ourselves we need to start some new habits to help distract us from the ones we are trying to break. Our new habit should be complementing ourselves as we need to feel good about ourselves again. As weird as it may feel you need to sit down and write 10 things you like about yourself. Here are some examples to help get you going:

10 things I like about me:

1. I’ve very good at…
2. My … really kicks butt!
3. I’m really good at…
4. I have great…
5. My … is/are my best feature.
6. I really look good in…
7. I’m very…
8. I really love my…
9. One of my best skills is/are…
10. I’m also very…

Now every morning you are going to get up and look in the mirror and repeat these 10 things and don’t squint your face up as you do it, act like you mean it! You are going to begin to like yourself again the more you say it, because the more you say it the more you will believe it.

Next we are going to join something new. Is there something you have always wanted to try? Is is learning to cook, rock climb, creative writing or running, what it the new thing you want to join? Try to choose something fun so it doesn’t become a chore, this will help you boost your self confidence which will help you meet some new people as well as learning a new skill. These people will get to know the “real you”, not the “you” that you were with your ex.

As you find yourself involved in more things as single “you” you’ll begin to feel more comfortable with yourself and stop thinking about what your ex is doing. Try these 2 things for 3 weeks and see how you begin to feel. Are you feeling more confident? Are you thinking about your ex less often? We are just beginning to retrain how we feel about ourselves and healing our broken heart takes time.